i want a blade. i want a bottle of vodka. i want a bag full of different drugs. i want to be left alone in my room. i want to blast my music as loud as i can. i want to watch my skin tear apart. i want to watch blood drip from my body. i want my vision to get blurry. i want to be so fucking high that i can’t move. i want to numb out the world and visit wonderland. i want to forget any worries.